Dear Santa

I used to send you a letter up the lum but since we got the central heating fitted that is very difficult so this year I am going high tech and hope that your broadband connection is working better than mine here in Auchenshuggle.

I would like a new bike. I know you got me one last year but it was stolen from our garden shed last March. Our local community Police officer called us in April regarding the theft, the call centre did not think it was a priority hence the delay, and when he asked me if I had got my bike etched by the local community safety branch he remembered that this department had been scrubbed by his chief. It is still missing, and so is my bike.

My dad would like a dirty weekend with a Pamela Anderson from the telly but my mum says he can go and get raffled. In that case all he wants is an honest politician who actually means what he says. My dad used to tell a joke about how you know a lawyer is telling a lie. Apparently his lips move. My dad now tells the same joke about politicians. I don't understand it but all my dad's pals laugh.

My gran would like to keep going to the bingo every day. She has felt a lot safer this year because she always meets one of the local police officers as she walks to her Mecca. She says this helps make her feel a lot safer and all her cronies agree. She is a bit worried as she has read that the big boss from the Police is being forced to make cuts because the politicians are giving him less money to spend.

My big sister spends a lot of time in the city at night with her pals having what she calls a wee drink. I have seen her come home in a right mess and if this is what a wee drink does to her I hope she never tries to drink a big one. She says she sometimes get searched by the Police now when they are having a big night out of their own. She has seen some boys get searched by the Police with metal detectors and they were arrested when the Police found knives. If those boys need new knives for their Christmas they can ask you themselves but I would be giving them nothing.

Finally my mum asks if you can keep her family safe from harm for another year. She was really happy when a lot of new Police officers started in our area and they were out and about, walking in the shopping precinct and being at the school at home time. She tells me that this was normal when she was a wee girl and she used to know all the Police by name. My mum hopes that the current level of Policing remains to allow me to do the same.

So Santa, have a word with the politicians, and remember my bike.

Wee Johnny.

Note: The views expressed in The Station Blog are written by neither a Federation representative nor an employee and are not necessarily those of the Joint Central Committee of the Scottish Police Federation.  If you want to comment on the content please email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it